AS PUBLISHED IN ANCHORAGE DAILY NEWS, 4/1/23: Miscellaneous Mushy Morsels of Midlife Musings
Notes on being alive the last day of my 30’s
and the first day of my 40’s:
Life is an adventure. Learn languages. You don’t always get what you think you want. Just because you can, doesn’t mean you should. Farting mostly feels great. Dogs are the best companions ever. Stretch yourself in all the ways. Make offerings. Do the opposite of what you’re inclined to do more often than not. Take naps everyday and do so without remorse. Fast and full doesn’t necessarily equal wisdom, even if nearly everybody’s doing it. There’s countless ways to live life and we all have times where we sell ourselves short. We don’t have to. Do the thing. Put forth some effort and try. Failure is a sign you’re on the path. Pick yourself up and dust yourself off again and again. Eat all the tacos. Sharpen your knives. Please yourself perpetually. Grief is a wild beautiful beast. The magic of mystery is vast and profound. Visualize yourself doing the thing, and it will happen. Not all old people are elders. Respect them either way. We all are moving noise-making breathing creating beings carrying stories buried deep in the hollows of our bones. Sing stutter speak dance your spells into the starry sky and rising sun. Talk less and listen deep. Pay attention to the quiet ones who don’t or can’t say much. People are capable of drenching our hearts in love and breaking them into a thousand shattered edges that cut deep into our soul skin and psyche. All of us are constantly creating a rippled reality woven in time and space. You’re here, so you matter (literally). Your matter matters. Act like it and get a little wild, make a lot of beauty, give and receive tons of welcomed touch, listen to your gut, give people the benefit of the doubt, trust their actions will speak louder than words. Emotions are like the weather; they will always be changing, so don’t give them too much energy. Be a person others want to be around, but not for the sake of people pleasing smalling yourself. Not all of us that want babies have them. The prayers from the people in the corners are the ones feeding our days. Be a good friend. Wash the dishes and clear the table. Practice warm hospitality and spontaneous generosity. Don’t tell anyone about it. How you do one thing is how you do all things. Delight in the delicacies of the mundane. Find and make the humor for crying out loud. If you want something, make it happen. You don’t have to become what your parents want or expect of you. Live with the end in sight. Relish the honor of being with birthing and dying. Behavior can be changed and does not have to define a person. Grow food and share meals with friends and friends of friends and not friends too. Learn to sit at the table with someone who looks thinks acts different than you. Be outside more than in. Barefoot is my preference. You are your ancestors dream, descendants demise, if we carry on with complacency. Watch the ones proceeding in good ways. Donuts are delicious. French fries are my stranded island food. Grateful Dead would be the band. Write snail mail letters. Notice how people make you feel and don’t waste your time with those who empty your cup. Call people what they want to be called. Remember and spell names correctly; ask again when you forget. How people respond to your boundaries is not your responsibility. Dip the skinny. Get goofy. Howl at the moon. Treasure and adore your vessel; it’s the only one you have so behoove yourself in truly loving it, warts, soft, saggy, crunchy crinkled bits too. Most people are kind, and we all can be a little snarky at times. Coffee is freaking amazing. The people you love won’t always be around. Cherish them. Trees are magnificent. Plant and protect them. Plant and nourish all sorts of seeds. Nature speaks. Time is our most precious asset. Find rhythm and make music. Hang out with all the ages. Use your privilege in service to those with less. Curiosity and wonder are a hell of a lot more interesting than knowing it all. Compliment strangers. The gods laugh at your plans. Show up and do your part. Heroism is not nearly as radical as community and village mindedness. Let gratitude guide your days. Good hearted mischief is a great form of play. Be the trickster. Take responsibility and act on your apologies. To care is a verb. Engage all of your senses with all the elements everyday. Love our mother because our lives depend on it. Travel lightly. Know how to drive a stick. Take less feed more. Slow down. Be uncomfortable for comforts sake. Turning a blind eye to the suffering creates more suffering. Asking for help is a humbling act of courage. Do it again and again. People, beings, and unseen forces want to help. Let’s not deprive one another the chance to be witnessed in our perfectly human messes. We’re better for it. Let compassion and empathy be blessed beacons when darkness washes over. Strengthen your night vision, and bask in the blackness of the night. Tread gently. Move mindfully. Give less fucks about the should’ves would’ves could’ves and what you think other people want of you. Live your truth without worry. It’s medicine for all.
https://www.adn.com/opinions/letters/2023/04/01/poem-miscellaneous-mushy-morsels-of-midlife-musings/